small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
