yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
