so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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