Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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