I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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