Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
