at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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