if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
