with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
God, I missed his penis.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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