Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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