I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So much Jack, so little girl.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
