And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You are the jesus of drinking
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
