think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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