I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
