I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
