I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
