I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
