Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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