is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
