i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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