yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
