TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
