It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You need Xanax blowdarts
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
