Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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