the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
