My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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