I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
