someone owes me an orgasm
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
