Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
