Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
