Tell her she can't have a vagina
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
