with your own penis?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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