forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
