can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
