I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I am mentally ready for anal.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
