my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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