We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
