The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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