My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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