White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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