Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
