Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
