'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
