dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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