high people should be assigned attendants
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
