last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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