OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
