The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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