my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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