so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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