Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
