i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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