that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
